Max's Mom

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I have no idea when and where I bought this Coke. It’s been refridgerating for a while, and I just noticed it says Sarah. Creepaaaaay.

I have no idea when and where I bought this Coke. It’s been refridgerating for a while, and I just noticed it says Sarah. Creepaaaaay.

fuckyeahchihuahua:

My beautiful baby girrl! The day we brought her home. 1.2 pounds of luv!

<3

fuckyeahchihuahua:

My beautiful baby girrl! The day we brought her home. 1.2 pounds of luv!

<3

I got a spray tan today, and as soon as I got home Max started licking my legs.

I got a spray tan today, and as soon as I got home Max started licking my legs.

(Source: vansatan)

I love that I love sending vaginal related bday cards to one of my besties. What are friends for? Last year I mailed her a card of that had a picture of the female reproductive system and it said something like “You’ve come a long way.&#8221;

I love that I love sending vaginal related bday cards to one of my besties. What are friends for? Last year I mailed her a card of that had a picture of the female reproductive system and it said something like “You’ve come a long way.”

mymodernmet:

For French illustrator Troqman, the world is a stage to display artwork that he calls “cartoon bombing.” The artist, who travels with a spiral-bound sketchpad, draws amusing pictures that cleverly interact with their surroundings.

wurd. taking the long route.

wurd. taking the long route.

(Source: iloveyoursoul)

Started working out with male trainer again.

I’ve realized every story I tell him involving food, I lie:

-“I never think about eating at the Cheesecake Factory. Only if I was wasted at 3am and it was open would I want to go inside and eat.” (I constantly think about eating at the Cheesecake Factory.)

-“…and I couldn’t recognize anything on the menu so I was like, can I just have some noodles and olive oil?” (I ordered noodles with butter and parm cheese.)

-“…and we were talking about grits, and how much I love Waffle House grits. I mean, I like never eat there - like once in a blue moon - but I love their grits. I can’t figure out how to make them taste the same at home, so I just never eat grits.” (I eat at waffle house A LOT.)

-“I mean it was nice of him, he offered to pick up a turkey sandwich on wheat bread for me.” (He went to 5 Guys and got me a double cheeseburger.)

BEFORE I drank too much before a group dinner/blind date at 630pm and slurred my entree order. In my defense, I dried my hair AND put on makeup.

Yes, everyone reacted to my version of “shrimp and grits” that I said out loud. But then I think, if he doesn&#8217;t like me for the way I pronounce my dinner order then he&#8217;s no good for me.

Whatevs! I do what I want!

BEFORE I drank too much before a group dinner/blind date at 630pm and slurred my entree order. In my defense, I dried my hair AND put on makeup.

Yes, everyone reacted to my version of “shrimp and grits” that I said out loud. But then I think, if he doesn’t like me for the way I pronounce my dinner order then he’s no good for me.

Whatevs! I do what I want!

Babysitting a 2 yr old

Babysitting a 2 yr old

The lady in front of me was trying to make a return at the Dollar Store.

The lady in front of me was trying to make a return at the Dollar Store.

(Source: ForGIFs.com)